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And there's another one! [Mar. 29th, 2004|10:59 pm]
[mood |contemplativecontemplative]

A rather odd fellow named Steerpike is yet another mysterious twin of mine. Most curious.

Steerpike and my brother Alexarchos have the same brooding intensity. Brian Slade is just as flamboyant as Pleistarchos, and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers reminds me of Philippos for some reason.

Nikanor is very much himself. I've met no one like him.
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I have evil twins! [Jan. 21st, 2004|09:12 pm]
[mood |shockedshocked]
[music |Soundtrack to "Velvet Goldmine"]

Between Jonathan Rhys-Meyers and Brian Slade, I'm starting to think I'm seeing double. Or triple. You know what I mean.

A nobleman, an akt-whore, and a whore; we're quite a motley group.
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What our names mean [Jan. 9th, 2004|05:16 am]
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |Breetnee Spear, "Lucky"]

This silly English language bores me. When Alexander conquers the world (and he will) I will put forward a motion to change the official language to Greek, as it should be. That being said...


Kassandros -- kainimai (excellence) + anir (man), hence "excellence of man".
Nikanor -- nike (victory) + anir (man), hence "victory of man".
Alexarchos -- alexein (defending) + archon (ruler), hence "defender of the ruler".
Phila -- phila (lover).
Pleistarchos -- pleion (many) + archon (ruler), hence "ruler of many".
Eurydike -- eurys (wide) and dike (justice), hence "wide justice".
Nikaia -- nike (victory), hence "belonging to victory"
Iolaus -- ios (arrow) + laos (people), hence "arrow of the people".
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Resolutions [Dec. 31st, 2003|06:25 pm]
[mood |indescribable]
[music |Bangles, "Walk Like an Ægyptian"]

My brother Nikanor tells me that the people of this era have a silly tradition they call 'New Years Resolutions', where you make promises you have no intention of keeping. He insisted we write down our Resolutions' so I could post them here.

Nikanor's Resolution: To get a Guns N Roses tattoo on my left shoulder-blade.

Philippos' Resolution: To find that wench Breetnee Spear and make sweet, passionate love to her.

Pleistarchos' Resolution: To find that wench Breetnee Spear and make furious, fervent love to her.

Iolaus' Resolution: To tell Medius how much I love him, every single day.

Phila's Resolution: To tell Krateros how much I love him, and make sweet, passionate love to him.

Eurydike's Resolution: To tell Ptolemy how much I love him, and make furious, fervent love to him. Also, do something about his hair.

Nikaia's Resolution: To become a back-up dancer in a J.LO music video.

Alexarchos' Resolution: To solve world hunger.

Kassandros' Resolution: Smite my enemies, lop more heads, kick more ass, and chew more bubblegum.
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Curses! [Dec. 30th, 2003|03:02 am]
[mood |enragedenraged]
[music |Yiannis Papaioannou, "Faliriotisa"]

Tonight I was watching this ridiculous 'anime' that purports to be about the adventures of Alexander. The crimes perpetuated by this cartoon, "Reign", are unforgivable -- Olympias does not have green hair, Kleitus has never worn anything that displays his nipples, and Alexander has yet to conquer the world with giant robots.

But by far the greatest indignity -- no, travesty! -- is that they transformed me, Kassandros, into a GIRL! Oh, the humiliation! My brothers had a good laugh over that one, let me tell you. Nikanor has been teasing me for the past twenty minutes, saying things like, "My, aren't you a foxy wench!" and waggling his eyebrows. I may commit fratricide.

A pox on you, Peter Chung.
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(no subject) [Dec. 27th, 2003|05:54 am]
[mood |aggravatedaggravated]
[music |Soundtrack to "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"]

My brothers and I recently went shopping with Alexander's kre-dit card, a magical amulet that makes people give you all sorts of marvelous things without requiring real money, such as gold or silver, in payment.

Pleistarchos got all sorts of 'sports ekwip-mint', including two pieces of wood that he can strap to his feet. He says they are called 'skees'. I told him he should get something useful, like a sword, but he never listens to me. Alexarchos disappeared for hours and emerged with odd colorful markings all over his body and metal bits pierced into his face. Claims they're 'gothic'. I've never seen an Ostrogoth with those, but perhaps Visigoths wear them.

Philippos and Pleistarchos got into shoving match over life-sized paintings of some wench named Breetnee Spear whom they both claim to be in love with. By the way, Alexander, Philippos wants to learn how to surf and suggests you conquer Hawaii next for the 'bitchin' beaches'. Iolaus ended up with so many bags of stuff for his lover, Medius, that I suggested we hire a pack-mule to haul it around, but none were to be found at the 'mall'.

Nikanor got lots of clothes, and made me try on some leather trousers. These strange garments make people whistle at me when I walk around, will never understand that. He insisted we get presents for everyone else, so we picked Alexander out a snow-globe and got Hephaistion a Chia-pet that's shaped like a cartoon character named Bart Simpson. I very much like cartoons, only decent thing this era has managed to invent.

Hephaistion, Nikanor wants you to come with him next time we use Alexander's kre-dit card. He says he's seen some scarves that complement your complexion, whatever that means.

UPDATE: Nikanor's Scooby-Doo Chia-pet won't grow. He's been heartbroken over it for a week. I offered to disembowl the shopkeeper that sold it to him, but he says that won't help.
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What we did for Solstice Day [Dec. 25th, 2003|08:34 pm]
[mood |crankycranky]
[music |Yanni, "Forbidden Dreams"]

Today my siblings and I went to the silly wreck-ree-ai-shun area at Alexander's candidate compound. I said it was too cold to go swimming but Nikanor claimed that this thing called a 'hot-tub' was plenty warm enough, and he was right.

Anyway, Philippos and Nikaia splashed around in the hot-tub while Phila and Eurydike strutted around in their new 'thong' bikinis. Being in this era is turning them into harlots, I must keep close watch over them. Iolaus' lover Medius dropped by, and they spent most of their time giggling and kissing. Romance! *Eugh!*

Nikanor wanted to get something called a 'tan'. I asked him why he just didn't go to store and buy one with Alexander's kre-dit card, but he snorted and said you couldn't buy a tan, you had to make one. So he made me rub 'tanning lotion' into his skin until he was all slick and oiled up. Meanwhile, Alexarchos sat in a corner and scribbled in a notebook, muttering to himself. He was always a strange one.

Pleistarchos fell asleep in a reclining chair and the sun burned his skin as bright-red as his hair! Has been whimpering and moaning for hours now. Phila took opportunity to lecture him about the dangers of something called 'skin cancer'. She can be a real bitch. Nikanor convinced me to help him decorate a silly tree, said this is how people of this era celebrate the Winter Solstice! Such strange folk, keep trees inside their house and dress their women in thong bikinis. Will never get used to indoor plumbing and heated pipes.
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About me [Dec. 24th, 2003|10:35 pm]
[mood |bitchybitchy]
[music |Vangelis, "1492 Conquest of Paradise"]

My name is Kassandros Antipatrou, and I was born 351 B.C.E. in the nation of Macedon. My father was a prominent Macedonian nobleman named Antipatros who later became a general and regent. I have eight siblings, five brothers and three sisters; they are Nikanor, Iolaus, Pleistarchos, Philippos, Eurydike, Phila, Nikaia, and one odd fellow named Alexarchos.

As a youth I was chosen as a Companion for Alexander, the son of King Philip. However, he preferred the caresses of that sycophant, Hephaistion and, to add insult to injury, spends much time in the company of his pet freak, a Persian eunuch named Bagoas. However, as a consolation, a di-wreck-whore named Oliver Stone has cast the fabulous akt-whore Jonathan Rhys-Meyers as moi in a movie. Of course, the movie will be mostly about Alexander and Hephaistion, but one can't have everything.

This silly modern cum-put-whore bores me. Begone!
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